Lanquin, Guatemale = Worst Bus Ride Ever!

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Generally, I’m a pretty laid back person and it’s rare that I come across anyone that I just can’t stand. Today I encountered that person and it took everything in my power not to give her a reality check.

The day started around 9:00am. We were the last to be picked up for our bus trip to Lanquin. With Dan and myself, it made for 16 people crammed inside the tour bus. I let Dan choose where he wanted to sit first, since I don’t need much leg room. He ended up cramped in the row behind me, and I sat with one cheek on the seat and my leg in stairwell for support next to a 20 something, mid sized, girl, who didn’t want to give up any space. Immediately after I sat down, I played the “what’s that smell” game and realized the girl next to me had the most rank body oder. Quickly, I forced open the window, stuck my head out, and tried not to lose my breakfast. I wasn’t sure how long the trip would take, but it couldn’t be that long right?!

Five to ten minutes pass when I notice something peculiar out of the corner of my eye. Nonchalantly, I turned to look at the girl next to me. I kid you not, the chick was sucking her thumb! I wish that was where the weirdness ended but, it just got stranger. She then began to pick her nose, rolled her pickings into a ball, and eat them!!! Then, she fell asleep leaning on me, and proceeded to fart. At one point the girl even painted her nails in the bus. I thought maybe it would stop her from sucking her thumb but no… as soon as her nails were dry that thumb went right back into her mouth. I can’t believe the three friends she was traveling with didn’t even care. However, they all seemed a bit off.

The trip lasted a grueling eight hour. My back was aching from sitting funny, I felt nauseous from the smell, Dan and I didn’t eat lunch because the driver said we were only and hour and a half away (turns out we were actually 4 hours away), and we must have stopped every two hours to let the gross girl and friends use the bathroom and smoke. When we finally reached Lanquin we had missed our 5pm bat cave tour and I was pretty cranky. On the positive side, we made it and I didn’t have to sit next to the gross girl again.

I wish that’s were the story ended but, no there’s more! The hotel we were booked at didn’t have our a record of our reservations. An hour later we finally got ahold of the travel agency and they had arranged for us to stay in another hotel in Samuc Champey. About 15 minutes later a driver came to pick us up. He asked us to hurry as he had a load of 10 people waiting. We rush up to the truck to find the gross girl and her friends. Ugh!

It was an open bed truck with metal bars for holding onto. We slung our backpack into the back and once again, I was standing next to the gross girl. So there we were, a load of people standing on a back of a truck, clinging onto wet metal bars (Oh, did I forget to mention it was raining), driving for an hour on a muddy road, on the side of a mountain with a drop off that would make anyone afraid of heights. To boot, the gross girl kept backing up nearly forcing me to fall off the back of the truck… I’m still not impressed be her lack of self awareness.

Not so bad right?! No, it was terrible!!! I can’t tell you how excited I was when we finally reach the hotel, ate dinner, and take a nice cold (no hot water) shower. Dan, on the other hand, was smiling as saying “gosh isn’t this an adventure?” Got to love his positivity… somehow he always cancels out my bad attitude.

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Camu Champey had better be worth this agonizing trip!

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